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Funny Quotes and Fun Sayings
Are you looking for funny quotes to give you a few moments of laughter and fun? Then you can find lots of lovely quotes here on this page. Feel free to share them with your friends also.
Here are some funny quotes for you...
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Will Rogers
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
Coffee isn't my cup of tea.
Samuel Goldwyn
I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope
Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
Arthur Schopenhauer
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
Robert Orben
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.
G. K. Chesterton
I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true.
Katherine Hepburn
More Funny Quotes below...
"Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight." - Phyllis Diller
"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken
"Once you have loved someone, you'd do anything in the world for them... except love them again." - Anonymous
"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous
"Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion." - Mirabeau
"Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love." - Yiddish proverb
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." - Chamfort
"I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics." - Frank Zappa
"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap." - Dolly Parton
"I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
"A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did." - Edgar Watson Howe
"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's eighth husband on her wedding night: I know what I'm supposed to do...I just have to figure out a way to make it interesting." - many attributions
"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying." - unknown
"An old man who marries a young wife grows younger - but she grows older." - folk saying
"It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced." - Anonymous
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